when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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