I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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