So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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