Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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