and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize