I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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