Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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