When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
