i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
