Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
