A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
be right there i have to get my cape
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
