Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
