Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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