It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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