Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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