her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
