you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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