oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
