it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
