well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
