Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
