At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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