whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
