I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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