I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
