i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
