My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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