Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No more Irish car bombs ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize