So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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