He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
