If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
