Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
