i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
the raccoons are back...
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