I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i came on her dog
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
