dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish you could order shots online.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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