we have officially lost it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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