I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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