Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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