Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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