just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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