cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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