1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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