Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
