i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
