Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
