i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
