Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
