I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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