so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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