IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
