Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
