At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm too high and old for this...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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