It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
