Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
