where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
