i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
