I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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