I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
