I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize