You just made me feel so damn special
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I sprained my soul last night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
