either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
